Not been here for a while

[Richard Hargreaves]

but I'm struggling through some of the flowery language in Winkler's tome on Sevastopol, like this nugget.

Als sei ein Stück Zeit übersprungen, wollten die beißenden Rauchschwaden und der über dem hellgewordenen Tal schleimig gegen die Hänge ziehende Pulverqualm durchaus nicht zu der abrupten Stille passen.

[fridgeman]

A kinda lyrical (or as you said flowerly) language, but i gave it a try. Especially the first sentence
"Als sei ein Stück Zeit übersprungen", is not that easy to translate.
I believe what the author wanted to say, he felt like the time itself stopped running/froze for a short moment.

"As if time froze for a moment, the acidly wads of dust and the gun smoke that moved across the light colored valley
and bounced against the hillsides, would absolutely not fit to the abrupt silence."

[Richard Hargreaves]

Now I understand what was going on!

If I adjust it slightly:

"As if time froze for a moment, the acrid swathes of dust and gun smoke which drifted across the valley as it dawned and
and bumped into the slopes did not fit in with this abrupt silence at all."

Good job I only have 40 pages of this to get through. I fear I may be back...

[pak]

I feel a need to put some slime into the translation
That should go well whith the flowery language and, at least for me, makes the scene even more picturesque.

I am a little unsure about whether or not the gun smoke drifts or "hangs". But when I read this I kind of "saw" the gun smoke hanging thick, slowly drifting down the slopes of the valley like slime.

But as we know, reading triggers different pictures for different readers

So my try is like this:
As if time had skipped a beat, the acrid wads of dust and dense, slimy gun smoke hanging against
the slopes of the bright valley certainly did not fit the abrupt silence.

Not trying to be difficult, but this translation intrigued me...

[fridgeman]

Im not a poet, and not capable of "flowerly" english i have to say

I feel a need to put some slime into the translation
But when I read this I kind of "saw" the gun smoke hanging thick, slowly drifting down the slopes of the valley like slime.

Could not have said it in a better way!

Your translations really sound good to me.

[Richard Hargreaves]

You're most welcome to translate the rest of the book, gents.

Give me simple Landser speak any day.

[Quax der Bruchpilot]

"Überspringen" (to leapfrog or to overleap) has the meaning of "fast forwarded".

Als sei ein Stück Zeit übersprungen, wollten die beißenden Rauchschwaden und der über dem hellgewordenen Tal schleimig gegen die Hänge ziehende Pulverqualm durchaus nicht zu der abrupten Stille passen.


As if a piece of time had been leapfrogged (fast forwarded), the acrimonous wads of smoke and the powder qualms, oozing
(hauling ooze like) against the cliffs (slopes) above (on top of) the light flooded valley, didn't match (fit) in any way the abrupt (sudden) silence.