Forum Heroes III 1/2

Commissar D, the Evil · Fri Jun 20, 2003 6:42 pm

A LITTLE MATTER OF STALIN’S BIG GUNS Part I

Commissar Davidov and Colonel Valery Sonofobich were scanning the terrain with their binoculars from a forward artillery observation post when the summons came in the form of a runner from Army headquarters.
Davidov ignored the messenger at first. Having only just returned to the Guards Tank Corps, he was intent on planning their next attack. Besides, there was a sight to be seen that had bewildered the usually unflappable Colonel Sonofobich and struck the Commissar’s curiosity.
About two kilometers from the Soviet front lines, a lone green eight-wheeled armored car drove openly through a field. It was clearly visible to the Soviets and seemed to not to care that it was being watched.
Davidov focused on it. As a tanker, he admired its sleek lines and noiseless operation. It was the newest of the German scout vehicles, rarely seen, and even mounted a 50mm cannon in its turret.
But these machines always operated with considerable stealth and it was a rare sight indeed to see one openly prowling around.
“Should I send a squadron of tanks to swat him”, Valery said casually.
“No, let’s look around a bit”, Davidov replied just as casually.
So the courier cooled his heels while the two officers strained to make ome sense out of the Puma at their doorstep. The messenger, a very young, dark-haired boy, stood rigidly at attention–much to the amusement of the forward artillery observer and his radio operator, who squatted in the trench and made rude gestures at him.
“AHA!” Valery exclaimed. “Two hundred meters to the left, do you see the small tree? Look past it.”
The Commissar squinted. Just a pile of logs, he thought. But wait. There was something not quite right. There it was. Jut beyond the tree he could see the faint outline of a muzzle brake.
He followed what he supposed was the line of the gun’s barrel and saw...scarlet!
Hurriedly the Commissar adjusted his binoculars. But his eyes weren’t fooling him, there was just the faintest bit of red-colored paint visible.
“Forum Heroes!” Valery growled.
“Ka-pinng!” A single shot hit the lacquered red star in the center of the Commissar’s service cap.
In an instant, all three men were on the floor of the trench. After a torrent of curses, the Commissar took the message from the courier. He swore at the forward observers,
“Did you bastards see where that shot came from?”
They shook their heads collectively like good communists.
“Well, when he fires again I want a full barrage on his position!” The Commissar looked at Valery. “I wonder if he’s that good or if he just got lucky.”
Valery tugged a cigarette out of the breast pocket of his tunic and placed it between his lips.
“Those dogs of Forum Heroes usually have good snipers.” He commented blithely.
Davidov stared the courier directly in the eye. “You there, stand at attention!”
The boy gulped, even though his throat was dry. His already pale features drained visibly.
“But Comrade Commissar.....” Before he could finish his protest, Valery interrupted.
“Definitely not Guards Tank Corps material”, Valery said, lighting his cigarette.
“I gave you a direct order!” Davidov shouted.
The messenger tensed. The two artillerymen, seeing this drama unfold, moved to the edge of the trench, ready to locate the sniper.
“Well?” The Commissar’s gaze drilled into the frightened boy’s eyes. He struggled to his feet and stood at attention.
“Definitely not Guards Tank Corps material”, Valery sighed, puffing on his cigarette.
But the shot never came. Several hundred meter away, Craig scooted backwards under the cover of the brush. He thought he had nailed the bastard until the other Russian stood up. Having heard that the Commissar was slightly intolerant of being shot at and expecting an artillery barrage at any moment, Craig considered withdrawal the safest course. But, sadly, that meant he owed Prit a precious bottle of vodka.
The Commissar opened the dispatch. When it was clear that anther shot wouldn’t be forthcoming, Valery ordered the messenger to get down. The boy collapsed into the trench and promptly fainted.
Valery said triumphantly. “You see, the Forum Heroes always have good snipers.”
Davidov sneered at him. It wasn’t entirely clear, the Commissar thought, who exactly Valery Sonofobich was rooting for at times.
“So what’s this?”
Davidov crumpled the order in his hand and sent it sailing over the edge of the trench.
“An order to report to Army headquarters. It seems that General Aleksandr Vasilevich Gorbatov has requested my presence.” Davidov didn’t attempt to hide the disgust in his voice.
“Gorbatov?” Valery shook one hand and blew a puff of smoke out between pursed lips.
“Whew! That should be an interesting experience.”
General Gorbatov was a veteran of service in the Tsar's army in World War I and of the Red Army in the vicious civil war that followed. In 1937, during the officers purge that swept away much of the Army’s top commanders, he had been arrested, convicted and sent to Siberia. His conviction was subsequently overturned and he was reinstated into the Red Army in 1940, shortly before the war. He had fought bravely during the invasion and was credited with being one of the Commanders whose efforts stopped the Nazis before Moscow.
But, by all accounts, he was not a man who particularly liked Commissars.
Commissar Davidov knew all of this, but there was nothing quite so maddening as being called away when the Forum Heroes, their scarlet StuG, and their sniper sat directly in front of his Guards Tank Corps. In total and obvious disgust, he began to crawl back towards the main Soviet lines.

Part II, The "Small Matter"

Wolfkin · Post by **Wolfkin** » Fri Jun 20, 2003 7:27 pm

Good my Commissar!

Oberleutnant Jonny Wolftruppen will be reporting for duty sometime tomorrow evening! For now, he has the important duty regarding a movie and other matters with the Mrs. Wolftruppen to occupy him! But do not despair, the Panther Commander extraordinaire will be there!

Cheers,

Wolfkin

Craig · Post by **Craig** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 2:19 am

Ah', Ka-pinng!, I love it!

Fridolin · Post by **Fridolin** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 3:23 am

"They shook their heads collectively like good communists".
hehehehehe... I can visualize that...

Tom Houlihan · Post by **Tom Houlihan** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 5:55 am

A green Puma roaming about right under the guns of Davidov's Tank Corps? I'm especially curious as to the outcome of this one!

Prit · Post by **Prit** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 9:20 am

Hey, don't worry, Tom, I have the skeleton of another Forum Heroes story in preparation, and your Puma features highly!

Prit

Tom Houlihan · Post by **Tom Houlihan** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 12:22 pm

Whew! I was starting to get a little concerned! Newly designated FH status notwithstanding, one Puma versus a Guards Tank Corps is slightly long odds even by Marine Corps standards! Especially when their commissar is writing the script!!!

Commissar D, the Evil · Sat Jun 21, 2003 1:25 pm

Especially when their commissar is writing the script!!!

Hey, wait a minute, this is all true stuff. I recently found and had translated a notebook from WWII, titled "Valery Sonofobich's Letters from the Front", the subtitle was "Through Hell for the Commissar".

What, you think I make this stuff up? Years of research are involved here.

Best Regards,
~D~

Tom Houlihan · Post by **Tom Houlihan** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 1:37 pm

Man, talk about revisionist history!!!

Wolfkin · Post by **Wolfkin** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 7:35 pm

...AND HAPPENING ROUGHLY AT THE SAME TIME OR MAYBE SLIGHTLY BEFORE THE ABOVE EVENTS...

JONNY WOLFTRUPPEN'S DILEMMA

Oberleutnant Jonny Wolftruppen lay sprawled, halfway across the back and front seat of his Kubelwagen. His Panther was in the midst of it's third transmission rebuild and was not yet finished. He was angry at a letter he had just received, he lit a cigarette and exhaled the smoke forcibly.

"Damn it! Three years and no promotion yet!"

Leutnant Joey Fritzburg, one of his Zugfuhrer, was passing by.

"What is it, Oberleutnant?"

Jonny took a deep drag on the cigarette while waving and pointing, as if he was confronting the author of the letter.

"A refusal for promotion, again! How long have I been Kompaniechef? And still an Oberleutnant! If I were the son of a rich man I would be a bloody Oberstleutnant by now!"

Joey agreed, adding a comment. "And I would be at least a Hauptmann."

Jonny continued, getting up out of the Kubelwagen and stamping out the half smoked cigarette.

"I am lucky that I made officer in the first place. It was a battlefield commission. I earned it at Kiev in 1941. They had to give me something since they said my action was brave but not worthy of the Knight's Cross!"

Joey Fritzburg thought for a moment and then exclaimed. "Well, you know there is this Waffen SS Division that is looking for men, a transfer would not be that difficult."

Jonny looked at him, shocked. "You have got to be kidding! In there with those silly fools! All that hoopla and crap!"

Joey Fritzburg continued. "Yes, but promotions are faster. Awards are handed out just for showing up! You don't have to believe in any of it, just ride the wave and enjoy the rewards!"

Jonny was almost convinced. Although, he did not care for fame and fortune. He did not care about ideology or race. He was surely no believer of any of the Nazi ideas. But, a promotion would earn him more money to send home to his family. Maybe a little bit of time in the spotlight would give him the chance to provide for his family back home.

Jonny looked at Joey. "Well, maybe we can give it a try. But not for all that silly crap you mentioned and I don't care about any silly wave. This is for money for my poor family. They do pay better in the Waffen SS, right?"

"Absolutely!" Joey shouted. "There is a Division, the 69th SS Panzer Division "Lipsarepouty" that seems to be a good choice!"

With that they both drove to the nearest Waffen SS recruiting office. Jonny and Joey stood before the SS recruiting officer. He was staring at their application. He looked at Jonny.

"So, Oberleutnant Jonny Wolftruppen. You wish to be a part of the "Lipsarepouty" Division. You are a Panther Commander, what can you offer us?"

Jonny cleared his throat, thought for a moment and then answered. "Well I have much combat experience and a highly trained crew. That is what I can offer."

"And what about your political beliefs," asked the officer. "What about your loyalty?"

Jonny was having second thoughts but decided to answer truthfully. "Well, my loyalty is to my men, my comrades. I couldn't give a rat's ass about politics! My place is on the battlefield!"

Joey stirred in his chair and was shocked at Jonny's outburst. "Oberleutnant!"

The recruiter looked happy. "No no. That is ok. A soldier should not concern himself with politics. That is the party's job. The job of the soldier is to fight the battles that the party starts. All that other stuff is just for show and for the recruiting posters. My decision was made already. Your excellent combat record and that of your crew is what we need in the Waffen SS and in particular, the "Lipsarepouty" Division. Your political view, or lack there of, can be ignored for now. So, welcome aboard Obersturmfuhrer Jonny Wolftruppen and Untersturmfuhrer Joey Fritzburg! Jonny, you will be given the 3rd Kompanie of Panthers and Joey will be assigned to your company as a Zugfuhrer!"

Jonny and Joey left the recruiting office. They were in a perplexed state. Jonny commented on something that he was obviously wondering about.

"Well, whatever happened to the really strict entrance requirements? These guys are elite? They seemed desperate for men!"

"Yes they did," Joey answered. "That almost seemed too easy!"

"Well one thing is for sure," Jonny was excited. "This might be the way that I can finally get that Davidov back! Maybe they will send us after that evil Commissar! This time we will have an entire Kompanie of SS Panther tanks from the SS "Lipsarepouty" Division!"

Cheers,

Wolfkin

Brig · Post by **Brig** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 7:56 pm

three and a half? what ever happened to smooth transactions between 3 and 4? it's like saying you're gonna go on three, then calling 2 and a half!

Commissar D, the Evil · Sat Jun 21, 2003 8:18 pm

Awards are handed out just for showing up!

HAHAHAHA!!!

The S.S. Lipsarepouty??? Wasn't that Angelina Jolie's Division!

Excellent Wolfkin, very funny!!!

(I wonder what Prit is up to!)
Very Best Regards, David

Tom Houlihan · Post by **Tom Houlihan** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 10:34 am

69th SS Panzer Division "Lipsarepouty"

Did Barbie Dahl's unit get upgraded to Corps? Is this the other division?

Sam H. · Post by **Sam H.** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 5:52 pm

Good god, don't mention Barbie or EW will start writing the scripts

Tom Houlihan · Post by **Tom Houlihan** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 6:03 pm

snicker, snicker, chortle, chuckle!!!

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Forum Heroes III 1/2

Forum Heroes III 1/2

Jonny Wolftruppen's Dilemma