This is off at a slight tangent, but I was just reminded of something that sounds like it SHOULD be a joke, but, worryingly, isn't: during the recruiting process for Kamikaze volunteers, Japanese pilots were supposedly given a form with multiple choice answers.
How keen are you to perform a kamikaze mission?
| | Keen | | Very keen
It's only funny if taken as fiction!
Humor in the Wehrmacht
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
"And I will show you where the Iron Crosses grow!"
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
Would that be like the Italian kamikaze pilot, Chicken Cacciatore??Rolf Steiner wrote:It's only funny if taken as fiction!
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
Was he a member of the little known Intestinal Wind Squadron?
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
The Ops Officer, if I recall.
But, we're hijacking A.L.'s thread.
But, we're hijacking A.L.'s thread.
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
You may argue that this fails to qualify as humour at all, just crass vulgarity... but the section in Bruno Friesen's 'Panzer Gunner' on the ritual of the Wehrmacht tank driving fraternity did make me laugh out loud.
This consisted of stuffing one's face with the 'gassier' foodstuffs from the canteen, then sitting around miming panzer gear changes while simultaneously producing the sound effects with their posteriors. It had to be instant noise with action, no delays acceptable. Not what you'd call classy behaviour, but I've heard worse stories concerning our own Royal Marines...
This consisted of stuffing one's face with the 'gassier' foodstuffs from the canteen, then sitting around miming panzer gear changes while simultaneously producing the sound effects with their posteriors. It had to be instant noise with action, no delays acceptable. Not what you'd call classy behaviour, but I've heard worse stories concerning our own Royal Marines...
"And I will show you where the Iron Crosses grow!"
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
Vulgar, perhaps, but it took skill, imagination, and talent!
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
A very good section! Wonderful,and would love to learn more about the wartime caricatures. More translations--maybe include the German version alongside the trans. Cartoons? Funny drawings by soldiers? There's some in Willi Peter Reese's book "A Stranger To Myself."
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
I cannot remember exactly where I read this - it is possible it was in "Where Ghosts walked: Munich's road to the 3rd Reich" by David Clay Large
(It is worth noting that due to the fact that most grain was reserved for making bread, the quality of beer decreased during the 3rdReich)
A fella goes to the Hofbrauhaus and orders a glass of Helles. He takes a hearty swig and practically pukes and spits it out the next second.It is disgusting. "Thats like no beer I ever tasted before" he thinks. "And I've tasted them all"
He puts the glass under his coat and walks out. He contacts a chemist and asks for the liquid to be analysed.
A week letter he gets a letter through the post.It reads: "Herr Schmidt, your horse has daibetes"!
I always use that when I give tours there. Thankfully the beer is much better today
(It is worth noting that due to the fact that most grain was reserved for making bread, the quality of beer decreased during the 3rdReich)
A fella goes to the Hofbrauhaus and orders a glass of Helles. He takes a hearty swig and practically pukes and spits it out the next second.It is disgusting. "Thats like no beer I ever tasted before" he thinks. "And I've tasted them all"
He puts the glass under his coat and walks out. He contacts a chemist and asks for the liquid to be analysed.
A week letter he gets a letter through the post.It reads: "Herr Schmidt, your horse has daibetes"!
I always use that when I give tours there. Thankfully the beer is much better today
Noch 'Ne Runde
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
schultze wrote:A week letter he gets a letter through the post.It reads: "Herr Schmidt, your horse has diabetes"!
Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
A story i heard from my grandpa, usually when he was a bit drunk. Dont know if its true or just a wehrmachts legend,
but as child i always laughed about it.
When my grandpa was in pow camp, he told he saw a young russian soldier running around with a water tap.
He propably had taken it from a house as booty, and now my grandpa saw how the young man was showing the
tap to some comrades. Suddenly, the younger soldier and his comrades tried to stick the water tap into a wall,
they used hammers and other tools to push the water tap deep in the wall. When the tap sticked to
the wall, the soldiers began to turn the tap and waited for water to show up. When nothing happened,
the soviet comrades began to argue with their friend who brought that tap, angrily moved along and left the tap in the wall.
but as child i always laughed about it.
When my grandpa was in pow camp, he told he saw a young russian soldier running around with a water tap.
He propably had taken it from a house as booty, and now my grandpa saw how the young man was showing the
tap to some comrades. Suddenly, the younger soldier and his comrades tried to stick the water tap into a wall,
they used hammers and other tools to push the water tap deep in the wall. When the tap sticked to
the wall, the soldiers began to turn the tap and waited for water to show up. When nothing happened,
the soviet comrades began to argue with their friend who brought that tap, angrily moved along and left the tap in the wall.
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
A photo from my collection:
"The company sergeant major or the mother of the company"
"The company sergeant major or the mother of the company"
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
On the broader subject of humour in Germany at the time, I just chanced across a book entitled 'dead funny', dealing with that subject, which featured examples such as:
Hitler is being driven through the countryside by his chauffeur. There is a thump; they have run over a chicken close to a farmhouse. 'Leave this to me' says AH. 'I'll talk to the farmer. I'm the Fuhrer, he'll understand'. Off he goes, to return a few minutes later hobbling from the kick in the *rse the aggrieved farmer has administered.
Off they go again, and some miles later, bang, another collision. This time it's a pig.
'Ok, you go talk to the farmer this time' says AH, so off goes the chauffeur, to return a few minutes later with a hamper full of goodies from the farm.
AH is puzzled. 'What on earth did you say to him?'
'Nothing special' says the driver. 'I just said "Heil Hitler, the swine is dead!"
Hitler is being driven through the countryside by his chauffeur. There is a thump; they have run over a chicken close to a farmhouse. 'Leave this to me' says AH. 'I'll talk to the farmer. I'm the Fuhrer, he'll understand'. Off he goes, to return a few minutes later hobbling from the kick in the *rse the aggrieved farmer has administered.
Off they go again, and some miles later, bang, another collision. This time it's a pig.
'Ok, you go talk to the farmer this time' says AH, so off goes the chauffeur, to return a few minutes later with a hamper full of goodies from the farm.
AH is puzzled. 'What on earth did you say to him?'
'Nothing special' says the driver. 'I just said "Heil Hitler, the swine is dead!"
"And I will show you where the Iron Crosses grow!"
Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
Riddle: What is a mile long and winds around several blocks ???
Answer: The beard of the joke about the swine !
HN
Answer: The beard of the joke about the swine !
HN
joined forum early spring of 2002 as Haen- posts: legio :-)
Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think !
Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think !
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Re: Humor in the Wehrmacht
If it's brevity you're after - what has gold in its teeth, silver in its hair and lead in its bones?
A member of the Volksturm!
A member of the Volksturm!
"And I will show you where the Iron Crosses grow!"